No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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