and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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