Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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