they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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