Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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