I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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