I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think your dad took our porno
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
