This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
