and she was petting her beer can
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
