So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
