I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hippo gnu deer
party gras won. party gras always wins.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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