tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
