People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
