He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize