didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
