Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
