i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
