this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
operation harelip BJ is a go
ugly people sure do ruin things
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
