2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
