Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
