His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
