uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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