where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
