I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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