how can u be prego again
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
