I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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