Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
