I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He? As in you personified your dick?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
