i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
