Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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