Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
