Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize