dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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