I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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