she kept yelling 'call me bella'
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
