Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize