Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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