so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
FUCK WHALES
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
