To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
