We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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