I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This house was built for laser tag.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
