Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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