did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
