So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize