Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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