i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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