the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
