I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
