Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
