I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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