considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize