Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
