Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
