I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
