The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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