Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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