Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
