Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
