STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
