The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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